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OKAY, dudes and dudettes:

1. I need directions on how to get to burly's
2. I'm calling in sick for you, so you better love me.
3. SHOULD I BRING ANYTHING!? LIKE FOOD OR DRINKS?
4. I bought everyone a little something, [but I did it secretly and last minute so you guys wouldn't get me anything]
5. Girly was freaking out asking if she should get you guys something to. AHAHAHA.
6. I'm fucking tired.

Oh ps-

HOLY FAK!

Sorry guys I'm not dead-- I love you all, I'm just working 2 jobs, [8-14 hours a day, 6 days a week]

Today, was one of those 8 hour days, so I finally got a chance to come online. How is everyone?


--
Oh, and more to that other story
--
It must’ve been weeks since that night, and she was still constantly on my mind. All the whispers, the sounds, the notes only she could hit. The words only she could say. My life had been constant hits off of Bucon’s list. Her regular haunts, the pushes by Bucon—it was only that woman, that I avoided.

And that’s when I saw her, wandering the coffee shop that I frequented.
I could’ve sworn it was the ghost of a million memories.

How could I ever even have imagined leaving her there -– Why was I so terrified to be with someone so breath-takingly brilliant? I stood in the hallway for a second, not realizing she was trying to get past me. I just thought that we were, well, watching each other. But as I gazed into those beautiful eyes; what I had once imagined to be so pure and innocent, had turned into empty depths.

After that first glance, which mocked the passing seconds, it surpassed minutes entirely and turned into tedious hours. I looked at her, so beautifully broken. Shot down, a fallen angel from the sky. “ Whatever then. You didn’t have to bother to show, if this is what worried you. I don’t want to be another stitch on your list of wrongs. You and your moral compass—can get the hell out of my mind”

“You want a gift?” I called out, “ Something I could give you, that no one else could?! Love, I’ve mastered the wind. You can see it in your colourless dreams. I’ll dance forever, to bring you the breeze. For a second, just then, it might carry my scent. Would you think of me then? Could you think of me?” I watched as she paused and thought, however I could not seem to stop myself from saying everything I had thought to her, every moment I even considered her “I’d wait underneath the city street light, scantily clad, just for you. I’d be your victim, I could lust after your every fantasy—I’d be the woman of your dreams. I’d be your something, your nothing. “

I’d be your everything… I’d be your anything.

She sighed unforgivingly, pausing for one more moment to react to my confession, “ I swear—you could be the woman of my dreams. I’ve seen you a million times—so, why aren’t you being yourself? Why isn’t this my fantasy?” I could feel her words cutting into me, she thought I was someone that I wasn’t. She thought it could be her dream—but it wasn’t. And she’d already given in.

I practically ran out of the shop, my coffee in hand, my ego falling to the floor, and my tail between my legs. I swear, I could hear all the teenagers laughing as they passed me. And there it was, this P.A.R.A.N.O.I.A, this believe that she’d plot against me. Why else would it be, that she’d cut me open so gracefully, and hand me my beating heart.

It couldn’t be that I’d driven her to it, I couldn’t—I didn’t deserve this… These feelings were too intense. Like a lightning storm far enough away that you couldn’t feel it, but you could see the impact it would have on your world.
I wish it was easier to explain, how out of my lack of sleep I had grown a new set of organs. Just being so close to her took my breath away, my lungs were useless in her presence. So these dream-land lungs would come in handy. She sent my heart through aneurysms almost momentarily upon contact, so I’d have to deal with this mythological heart. They were necessities. Each working more than ten times slower than the ones before them. Perhaps now, I could sleep, perhaps now, I could dream.

I have to move.
I have to run away. I just—
I just cant be here. Release me.

I don’t know how I could possibly dream of leaving that apartment. Her apartment. I couldn’t possibly leave her the way, I knew I should. But somehow I managed to crawl out of her bed, and sat on the couch along the outskirts of her room. I’d moved away from her beauty, and away from what my mother would call our “sin”.

This is your last chance.
Just sneak out while you still can.
She’ll never miss you.

Never even think about you ever again.

Tags:

Untitled

For Burly: >

If you're going to judge me...

 What if I told you I had a s.e.c.r.e.t.   One that was so obscure, you’d never be able to dream it up. Would you be able to keep it? Would you be able to hold it captive with in your body forever?

It’s so dark in this room, in this hospital. But it’s for the best, I promise. At least this way, you won’t be able to see me. Darling, I’m dying, I’m aged, I’m withered and broken. If you could see right now; like a tree you could probably tell my age, my life’s story by the crevices of laugh-lines and frown-lines surrounding my face…

You’ve got to hold my secret, keep it in my throat, until you’re like me- - until you’re attached by I.V’s to machines, being fed through tubes.  Are you ready to take on that burden?

Because you’ll have to promise.

P R O M I S E?

Good.

I wish I could start it off with describing how my secret is beautiful in it’s obscurity.  Telling you about how love, and infinity truly feels , describing it in all of it’s flawless glory.  But I’m afraid.

S C A R E D

To get your hopes up. After all, the moral of this story is seen, with me laying here alone, dying in a dark hospital room.

HushHushHush…  It was worth it. I promise.

Tags:

Irony?

I’m not a poet

I’m not a liar though the written word

Just a space cadet.

I’m always stuck in my own little world.

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Giggly:: writes/

"How it would feel"


I am. You are. Condemned. Alarmed.

To put this lightly, love.
You have completely changed.
To someone I’m scared of.
Completely rearranged.

Did I go wrong in creating another me?
Now, so obscure in your blasphemy. [[towards me.]]

Not to say,
that I’m yours…
But love, you must admit, when you turned to face your maker,
I was standing there, perfecting you, the way I knew how…

Tags:

Four Seasons of Happiness:: Winter Dreams

Strange,
It's beautiful, you carved our names in the fallen diamonds
And you smiled as you looked up at the stars.
Babe, I'll teach you something that's been forgotten.
Love over powers cold, and you love with all your heart.

"Darling, we could make angels in the frozen shards."
I'll sit and whisper into your sleeping ear
Intertwined in our bed, so perfectly paired.
Eternity's promised, you've made me a believer.

A believer, my muse. Paired together, centrafused

I had to catch my breath, and choke on the frozen air,
Because you smiled and looked up at the sky.
On shooting stars, I'll always wish you here.
I'll be forever yours and you'll be forever mine.

A believer, my muse. Paired together, centrafused
Baby, I'm a believer.
You've made me a believer.

Tags:

Giggly heard it in the Break-Down

Everyone-- Everyone wants something from me, and I don't feel like I have anything left to give

Tags:

Conversation with a straight guy::
{i'm Zero-Kei]

[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
Can I ask you something?
.dave says:
suure
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
Why do guys keep trying to sleep with me, is it the whole "lesbian fantasy " thing? Or am I just missing something
SERIOUSLY 7 guys, in the past week
.dave says:
do they know ur a lesbian?
wait, they prolly do
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
I don't really hide the fact that I am
.dave says:
true, but like girls still have tits n ass' even if they're a lesbo. id bang a lesbian
bi girls are sweet tho...
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
:P Too bad, no lesbian would bang you

.dave says:
owch
what if i got a sex change
baaaam
lol
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
depending on if you made a hot woman
.dave says:
well would u bang a straight girl?
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
I wouldn't walk up to some striaght chick
and be like
Hey baby
;)
But, I probably wouldn't even if she initiated. Because I wouldn't want to be some experiment.
.dave says:
really? so u find straight girls hot
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
well ... they might be attractive, but I generally don't pay attention unless my gaydar goes off
.dave says:
haha true. . would u bang a gay dude
cuz then its like..ur both gay
so
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
no, Not attracted at all
It'd just be terrifyingly akward
.dave says:
thats so weird
no offence
yo question
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
?
.dave says:
how do lesbians prevent like...stds n shit
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
Dental Dammms
.dave says:
huh?
so iguess u cant have like one night atands n shit without em
but then i guess ud need em for ur hands toooo
gloove
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
you pass std's on through fluids you idiot. -face palms-
.dave says:
u lesbians
[Zero-Kei] :: FUCK law school!! I'll get my doctorate in GAY(R) 2 days says:
you can only get it through fluids
which is why dental dams are used


I said it once, and i'll say it again boys are INSANE